First – so sorry I have not been able to post (or even write) over the past few days. Usually I’m able to write a bit – to help process the day – even if I’m not able to post it. But this past week has been a whirlwind of activity and prayer. Every moment I’ve had a part from the group has been so focused on prayer and listening for God’s whispers to my heart --- that I have not set aside time to write about it.
Mornings have begun at 5:15AM with group prayer and devotion at 5:45. It’s been so sweet to sit in the early morning dark with others seeking God. Devotions spoken, scripture read, songs of worship lifted up, and prayers uttered ---- all combined to begin our day in a powerful way. Out of the group of 340 --- about 30 of us would meet each morning. It’s hard to describe the feeling of being in a place, a situation, where you know God has called you to be – and yet you KNOW you have no control or power over the outcome of the day’s events. But you can feel the words “in my weakness, He is strong” pulsing through your veins. God’s Word is life and light to me.
The work has been non-stop through out the day, with sleep coming after midnight every night. (And for those who know me well – you know I’m diligent with my 8-9 hours of sleep each night. But that is not the case here.)
We have seen miracles – truly, not exaggerated occurances, but real miracles happen. God has heard our prayers and yours --- and has responded with a mighty YES. ☺ At the 30 churches where we have worked – we had expected (according to Pastors estimates) anywhere from 15 – 100 children. Everyday there were 50 – 400 children at the churches. Our teams were blessed and overwhelmed with the numbers. We were able to see the “fields are ripe unto harvest” – saw it with our eyes. We had to pray and cry and release our plans to God --- since we didn’t have enough food, we didn’t have enough Bible school supplies, we didn’t have enough team members, ---- but ----- we DID HAVE GOD. He called them there, He had a plan, we just needed to readjust our minds. So the lead teachers and I prayed constantly for God’s enabling of them to shift and adjust the beautiful curriculum they were using to accommodate hundreds of children. And He did. The outcome looked much different than what they had planned ---- but we pray it looked exactly as God had planned. (Thank you Kristi and Jodi for writing the curriculum – I could feel you here with us --- and your stories and activities are now in the hearts, minds, and souls of these beautiful children.) As vans of volunteers left the churches on the final day – they could hear the children singing “Jesus loves me, Jesus chose me, Jesus is my hope”. Many tears… We did not have the budget nor the ability to bring food to this great number of children each day – it was overwhelming. There are SO many hurting children and people here. So we all prayed – longing for a “loaves and fishes” story. The WMU at a sweet church near my home and where my parents are members, Coal Mountain Baptist Church, had blessed me with funds to be used as God guided. I had used a portion of their gift to purchase Bible School supplies for the children and churches, another portion to purchase supplies to be used in Kenya, and another portion to pay for additional oral surgery for a young man named Peter here in Swaziland --- that’s another blog post soon to come (a sweet story that must be told). But I was prayerfully holding on to the last $200, waiting for that “nudge” from God. And the nudge came on Wednesday. We used the last $200 to purchase 100 big bags of oranges to take out to each church to give the children. The van pulled out Thursday morning bulging with eager, tired volunteers, loads of warm clothes they had brought with them to give to the children, and a gazillion oranges to share. ☺ The children could feel “the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” as they received new clothes, food in their stomachs, and a feast in their heart with the final day of curriculum shared in adapted ways that would accommodate the magnitude of numbers the team served.
And so God provided --- according to HIS PLANS. We surrendered our plans and embraced His ---- as we realized we could not – but He could. We were unprepared for the numbers – He was fully prepared. We were ill equipped for their needs – He was what they needed. May they remember Jesus loves them, Jesus chose them, and Jesus is their hope ---- long after we are gone – for the rest of their days. Many, many, many accepted Christ as their Savior. The numbers were too large to count --- truly. But God has their names written down. Praise God!
It’s 3:10AM, Sunday morning, and sleep is playing games with me. Ha!
So I’m doing what most of us Christians do when we are awake in the wee hours – I’m praying. It’s not an all together bad thing to be awake in the middle of the night – and pray – because there are VERY few distractions from focusing fully on God. Our mind tries to tell us “this is wrong, I need to be sleeping, I’ll be too tired to meet the demands of tomorrow if I do not sleep”. But my soul whispers to my mind, God knows exactly what will be required of me tomorrow and He will give me the rest that is needed to meet the demands of the day. So I take my peace.
It’s a beautiful thing to spend time with God while everything around you is quiet and still. Sort of goes along with “Be still and know that I am God”. (Isn’t God beautiful.) And so I thank God for the unexpected, unplanned, quiet nighttime minutes with Him.
I’m thinking of the scripture I love so very much “I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living”. It’s a verse I often pray and He always delivers. Do you have a deep, gut level desire to “see God”? I do. Perhaps it’s because God chooses to allow me to see pain and suffering in this world, perhaps it’s because I allow God to open my eyes and my heart to that suffering, perhaps it’s because I “see” these painful realities and will not shut my eyes to them ---- that I have a desire in the marrow of my bones to SEE GOD. If I could not see God – then I think I would curl up in the fetal position and hide quietly in the corner of life. It’s the life giving response in my soul to a dying world --- I must see God in order to function at all. Perhaps it is true for you too.
Seeing God gives life to me and pours energy into me – which leads me to press forward – toward the goal that has been set before me. And I know – it’s not a goal I have set – it’s a calling from God. He knows for me to move forward He must allow me to see HIM – or I will become weak and useless. And so God graciously allows me to see Him – as I live life playing Hide and Go Seek with God. I must clarify here – I do not believe God “hides” --- but I know the plan of the enemy is to distract us, deter us, or overwhelm us with anything and everything possible, so that we are not able to “see God in the land of the living”. On the contrary, I believe God places Himself before our eyes constantly – and we just sometimes miss seeing Him. He is with us, He is showing Himself to us, He is watching to see if we are looking for Him. Oh what blessed children we are --- that the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE will show Himself to us and make Himself known to us.
How sad that we too often are so consumed with our problems, our situations, our needs, our desires, ourselves ---- that we miss seeing the fullness of God surrounding us.
And so --- I purpose in my heart to be watchful, to seek Him, and to store in my heart the abundant way He allows this tiny daughter to see her amazing Father.
Today I saw my Father …
-When countless people who do not know me from Adam returned my smile in an airport on the opposite side of the world from the place I call home.
-When I was not able to log onto my computer and produce a much needed document for a dear lady from Taiwan who had forgotten to bring the required paperwork with her – and her family was being held in Customs. In our frustration, we received a phone call 1 hour into our struggle with technology --- that the Customs agent had decided to extend grace and release them, along with the 10 boxes of blankets they were bringing with them. I was doing all the “right” things to retrieve her needed paperwork – the enemy was blocking my every move (it seemed at the moment) – very frustrating indeed. When I got the phone call that all was well ---- I saw God. He showed anyone who was watching for Him, that HE would not be hindered --- He would rescue them from their dire situation --- and He would allow me to see Him – in the moment of my inability. Isn’t that beautiful? It didn’t matter then that I was unable --- because I got to clearly see (and so did they I will add) – that HE IS ABLE.
-When another young man was held in Customs – a 23 year old college student with such a heart for serving God. As I got word he was “stuck in Customs”, I prayed and followed two dear friends who live here in South Africa as we went to the information desk to see if they would allow me access to go to the Customs department and help him in his situation (not that tiny me could do anything – but my Father could and as we waited for His plan to unfold, I might be of some comfort). It’s very uncommon to receive what I was requesting – access to an inaccessible area of the airport. As I stood at the counter patiently waiting for the important looking fellow with the badge to hear my request, a tiny, soft-spoken woman who would not weigh 80 lbs. soaking wet, tapped me on my elbow. She softly said, if you want help, come with me. I looked at my South African companion and inquired with my eyes what I should do. She motioned for me to stay put and she went with the tiny messenger. Moments later – the tap come again on my elbow and the same words, “if you want help, come with me”. She was wearing a tiny badge (proportionate to her size) I asked her gently where my friend was. She explained she is waiting for you and gave me quick, almost secretive directions where to go and find my friend and receive the help I needed. It was like a scene in a movie. I whispered a prayer asking God to lead me and carry me. He did. I found myself walking down a back corridor that led to the inner security check for officers at the airport. My friend was there with a guard of some sort who said he would escort me. I followed Him as my friend stayed behind, only I would be allowed through security. I was escorted by this young guard to the inner catacombs of the airport. Immigrations, Customs, --- scary and sketch yes – but was I at complete peace – yes. I was told numerous times, “we are shocked to see you here – no one is allowed in this area unless they are in trouble”. I smiled and felt God with me. The young man was released to spend the night in the airport and catch a flight to Swaziland in the morning – and I was escorted by my this guard out of the airport catacombs. As we walked the long distance back to my companions (and back into the world – for it felt as if we had visited a movie set from Bourne Identity), the young guard turned to me and said, “Are you a Christian?” I gently replied, “Oh yes, I love God very much, and that is why I am here in your country so far from my home.” He turned and looked at me ---- and I saw God. He slowly smiled. I then asked, “Do you know God?” His reply, “Yes I do, and I thought I could see him in you as well.” God carried me to places I had not planned to go – to places others did not visit today (unless they were in trouble) – so that I could see Him even there.
-When I was finally able to log onto my computer and get on the internet (just minutes after the hour long struggle with my Taiwanese friend – interesting yes), and glanced at my emails quickly to see if anything pertinent to the morning had been sent that needed my immediate attention. My eyes found an email from a dear couple from South Carolina, who had sent me word the day before I left that they were praying for me. Her loving message this morning was to ask me how much Pete needed to fully fund his trip to Kenya to serve with Steve, Maggie, and me. And then she typed, “whatever is needed – tell me – and a check will be in the mail by evening”. I burst into tears-standing in the hotel lobby – for this was a large amount of money. It was/is a deep desire of my heart --- to have Pete with us in Kenya this year. And in that moment, God said yes, I will provide, I will meet your needs (this was a “want” that was also a “need” of my heart). I saw God in her generosity and I wept. Oh how I saw God.
-When we got word early this morning that Litsemba Day would happen. I’ll clarify. For over 9 months now we at Heart for Africa have been planning for the trip that is taking place now. With over 300 volunteers (who I am greeting in Joburg), shipping containers packed full of Bibles, blankets, beanies, flip flops, clothes, etc. --- to give to the children of Swaziland during 3 day Bible Camps (like Vacation Bible School) in rural churches throughout the entire country as well as the Litsemba Day Event on July 23. Litsemba means hope in Siswati, and the entire trip will focus on every aspect, every activity, every gift, every detail --- bringing HOPE to the hurting children of this country. It has been a huge undertaking, one that is much more proportionate to God than to us. And the potential “good fruit that will last” is certainly God sized as well. In a country with the highest HIV rate in the world, where children are orphaned everyday and left scared, alone, and hungry, the right response must be more of GOD. His love, His way, His truth, His light, His life giving bread, His Word, He is surely the only right response to such overwhelming pain and suffering. And so we have worked to bring God’s Hope to a country that is literally dying. But we have dared to step onto a battlefield that had been claimed long ago by the enemy. And he has not been happy that we would dare to enter into what he considered his territory.God, however, has been VERY clear – He would win the battle – but we were to be a part of the scrimmage. Perhaps Janine will write another book giving account to all the strategies and battle plans that have surely been laid out against this work of God, for it could fill a book (it’s too much to try and chronicle on a blog). But, I’ll share some of the lies --- that Heart for Africa has been accused of being sex trafficking agents, child abusers, dangerous people who could not be trusted, and money hungry westerners trying to make money off the plight of the children of Swaziland. All such accusations have infuriated us, brought us to tears, and eventually made us laugh – because of their absolute absurdity. The enemy is a master deceiver and he has worked overtime to try and deceive the people of this dying country --- so they would not trust our help – and therefore not be able to receive the help GOD was sending to them. Less than a week ago, we were told the Litsemba Day event, planned for over 9 months, to be held at the national stadium with 15,000 planning to attend, with an entire team already in place here making the final arrangements (one of which being Maggie), would be cancelled and not allowed to take place due to accusations of sex trafficking plans against the children. And so we prayed. We knew over 300 people had plane tickets in hand and were coming to bring HOPE to the children and people of Swaziland ----- and we had just been told, it would not be allowed to take place. We prayed --- and God gave peace. We did not change our plans, because God had not changed His plans.Then early this morning – we received word that God had opened the flood gates of His powerful goodness and made a way. He has parted the Red Sea again and defeated the schemes of the enemy. God is worthy of ALL our praise. It was announced by the king and the government officials --- the Litsemba Day WILL take place --- and not only that --- but the King has now declared the day of July 23 a NATIONAL HOLIDAY – in honor of HOPE being brought to the nation. God has won – the enemy has been defeated – and the children and people of Swaziland will receive what God has been planning for them. The King of Swaziland will most likely attend ---- oh but much more importantly --- the KING OF KINGS will most certainly be there. I am in awe of His power.
And so I could continue writing until the sun wakes up --- but will stop here.
“I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living”…
I thank God that He chooses to allow us to see HIM.
May others see God in our lives --- for the holy, powerful, patient, sovereign, almighty, omniscient, gracious, loving God that He is.
Everything else pales in comparison ---- when we have become spoiled to seeing God.
Is there anything else worth looking for or watching to see?
Thank you God for letting me see you today. I’m overwhelmed at your loving kindness.
