Soft eyes of pain and obedience... (July 19 late PM)

On the 19th, I spoke to two groups, once in church and once to a group of ladies from several churches gathered in the afternoon.
I find that I love speaking about our Lord to these dear ladies. I’m still unsure of myself, there is little real confidence within me. But God is showing me here in Africa – that when I’m quaking in my shoes, my knees are weak, my heart is hurting for home, and everything around me is unfamiliar ---- when all my comforts and securities are absent --- He then finds a vessel He will speak through. It’s not a vessel that is broken, but instead it is a vessel that is empty of “self”.

It has been an amazing experience. Praying to Him, seeking His filling, and then opening my mouth and being covered with chills as the words coming from my mouth are His. I feel the prayer cover of you all – I truly feel it – thank you so, so much! God is faithful.
If I’ve ever felt unable to speak into someone’s life, it has surely been these past few days. Many of these ladies live a difficult life. Their life is harder than we can begin to grasp. And the only place they can find refuge and sustaining strength is in the Lord. (But then again – isn’t that true for all of us.)
They want to be rescued NOW. So friend --- their “wait on the Lord” is immeasurably different than mine. These ladies contemplate suicide and have lost dear friends who couldn’t take it anymore and were successful in their attempt to end the pain. These ladies grieve over hungry children, drunk husbands, and babies they have had to bury. For many of them there is little comfort in their world. And yet they sat in church and listened to the white lady talk about God. And God had so much to say to them today. He told them how much He adored them. He used the book of Ruth and He met them where they were.

As I shared with them the words of love God placed in my mouth, their questioning, unsure eyes grew soft. And misty tears appeared as they heard HIM. Not tears of sorrow, but tears of “hearing Him”. It was beautiful to see. I told them that even if their earthly father had not loved them gently and tenderly, they needed to know that their Heavenly Father does. He made them because He knew He would miss them if they had never been born. He looks upon them in the morning when they are still sleeping and waits patiently for them to awaken. He adores them and wants to fill them to overflowing with His love and strength and goodness. I knew as these words came out of my mouth --- that they had never heard such loving words before. As I am told, it’s not part of their culture. They are raised to be tough and strong so they can endure the hardships of life in their world. But today God wanted them to hear His heart for them.

I praise God for the words He lavished on these ladies. They are daughters of the King. And the King will be the one to take vengeance on any who have not loved His daughters. But until that day comes, the King calls His daughters to walk in love and keep their eyes on Him.

The men in this land need to change. I believe God will change them and change is already taking place in many homes. I talked late into the night with Bishop David and Joyce last night to try and be sure my understanding of life for these women was accurate, and not skewed in anyway. I was enlightened. Bishop shared with me that extreme abuse was very common in generations past – but that today’s married couple is not plagued with the ruthless abuse of the past. Instead – women are fighting back now. Is that good? Yes and no. I’m glad the abuse is not nearly as prevalent – truly thankful. And a woman should never allow her husband to make a kicking-post of her. But sadly – fighting back does not mean “love” is a part of the equation. Usually fighting back can bring a more terribly result in the end. Tough love is not the same as retaliation – instead it takes a loving stand and refuses to continue to let evil prevail. But thankfully Bishop and Joyce shared that the percentage of abused women has dropped dramatically over the past generation. The biggest problem now is husband’s who drink and use their salaries to pay for beer rather than take care of their family. It’s a type of silent abuse. This is the “abuse” many women endure now. They shared with me that beatings are rare --- even with drunkard husbands. They do still happen --- but not nearly as much as in the past (especially in the cities – the rural areas might still have more abusive men). So it’s still not good --- but it’s at least changing in the right direction. Thank you God.
Ruth suffered too. She knew hunger, she was widowed, she lived with a bitter mother-in-law, and she lived in a culture that was hard on women (which is completely true in Kenya). But Ruth, regardless of her circumstances, chose to love others and do the next right thing everyday. Ruth is a close sister to these dear ladies in Kenya. God blessed Ruth beyond measure as she obediently did the next right thing and simply loved those in her life.

These ladies rarely cry – with tears. When a child dies or they are grieved in some deep way – they will lament, they wail, they cry out with groanings that come from the gut. And tears may or may not appear. But they don’t cry because their heart is touched. Tears of joy are not common at all --- and for some – they have never known them. They are stoic in many ways.

Today – they listened and heard God’s deep love for them. And many of them sat with tears running down their beautiful cheeks.
I was careful to speak truth to them. The truth is --- just because God loves them --- their life will not necessarily become easier. We live in a fallen world. A place where the enemy is squirming and inflicting all the pain he can possibly produce. And God’s response to that is His lavish love on His sons and daughters. He allowed His only Son to endure unbearable pain – all because of His great love for us. God may or may not move the mountains before us ---- but when we live for Him and follow His ways – He will strengthen us to climb the mountain, see Him during the journey, and do amazing things in the process.

God, forgive me for the moments that I have made a mountain out of a mole-hill in my life. The many times I have been so self-focused and self-centered that I actually thought my trials were “too big to bear”. Oh Lord – you’ve opened my eyes once again – and in an even more intense way ---- to what real mountains look like. Thank you for your mercy and patience, your grace and love. Thank you for the gentle man I live with and the beautiful children you have given me to raise for you. I praise you for the little one you took home early – for the grief of that loss is now used by you to help me connect to these women and their losses. Thank you for the food you bless my children with everyday in our safe, peaceful home. It is no small thing at all. Let me take the blessings you have lavished on me and use them fully for good in the lives of those around me. You are a beautiful, mighty, majestic, powerful, gentle, loving, sovereign, holy, righteous God and I worship you fully. Please orchestrate these moments here so they are worthwhile in your eyes Lord.

‘When they cry out to You because of their oppressors, You will send them a Savior and defender, and You will rescue them.’ (Isaiah 19:22b)
‘You will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths You will guide them; You will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things You will do; You will not forsake them.’ (Isaiah 42: 16)
‘Your people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.’ (Isaiah 32:18)
I ask for this in Jesus’ Name.
Amen.